Torn
by MsWinchester
Summary: Clarissa Morgenstern's life dream is to be like her father. However, she needs to be trained. Clarissa takes on a new identity, Clary Fray, and goes to the New York Institute to be trained. But will she feel the same about her father once she has been trained and become friends with the Lightwoods and a certain blonde-haired shadowhunter?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer; I do not own the Mortal Instruments or any of the characters. Unfortunately, this includes Jace. I am not Cassandra Clare therefore the characters might be out of character. 

I've always wanted to follow in my father's footsteps; to have that power and respect that he has. But no one will help me. They say he is a villain, a monster. The Shadowhunters. I don't understand because he is one of them. Only, he believes we are better than the filthy Downworlders who are scurrying around this world like they have a right to be here. _They_ are the monsters. Not my dad. He wants what is best for us and I will find a way to train and be like him.

The problem is, he can't teach me to fight. He has to attend to business while running from the Clave. Mother told me, before she ran from us, that if I wanted to learn to be a Shadowhunter I'd have to leave my father and get a new identity and never reveal that Valentine is my dad. So now, I am not Clarissa Morgenstern. I'm Clary Fray now and I'm going to the New York Institute.

For a moment I could only stare. I had heard of the Institute but I suppose you can't really know how…_gothic_ it can look. I tilt my head back and immediately look forward again. The spires stretch far into the sky. The stone is a grey that has dirty smudges that gives the building a personality. It looks like a gothic cathedral- both beautiful and sinister. I found myself wondering how many tourists this building would attract if the mundanes could see what this building really looked like. They only saw it as a filthy, boarded up, falling apart building.

"Here goes nothing," I mutter as I walk up the uneven stone steps to the large arch doorway. As I lift my hand to the black rusted doorknocker I notice my hand is shaking slightly. Shame washes over me. What would my father think? _I am the daughter of Valentine Morgenstern, I can do this, _I think to myself as I take a deep breath and knock three times. I then see a brass doorbell and cringe inwardly. I press the button and jump, surprised at how shrill the bell sounds.

I wait. Surely they would have heard that bell; maybe I should press it again? Maybe they're not there, maybe they-

The door opens and I notice it's as noisy as it looks it would be. It creaks at the hinges indicating it's age. A girl stands there looking curious and slightly bored to see me standing on her doorstep.

"Um… Hi. My name is Clary Fray. I have- er- just found out I'm a Shadowhunter and I require training and a place to stay." I stumble over my words. Should I have said that? Why isn't she replying?

The girl flipped her long black hair over her shoulder and turned her head so she could yell "MUM" in what I assumed was the direction where everyone else was. A silence followed then a metallic groan sounded.

"What is it, Isabelle? And why do you have to yell? I am not your servant, young lady. Do not expect me to come running every time you-" the woman, who was a spitting image of 'Isabelle' but with a couple of wrinkles on her face and a stray grey hair mixed into the black, had just noticed me standing there awkwardly. "Oh, hello, can I help you?"

I opened my mouth to repeat what I just told the younger girl when Isabelle repeated it herself. The older woman nodded once and Isabelle opened the door further to let me step inside.

"My name is Maryse and this is my daughter Isabelle. I run the Institute." She offered her hand which I found a little odd but nonetheless placed my hand in hers and shook lightly.

"Clary Fray," I withdrew my hand. "I'm sorry for just arriving but I wasn't sure what else to do."

"It's fine. We look out for one another. If you'll follow me I'll show you a room we have ready." She started walking down the hallway where an elevator was located at the end.

"Do you have any other Shadowhunters visiting?" I ask as I examine some of the religious pictures that line the walls.

"No, we don't have many staying here. We live here along with my husband, two sons and adopted son."

"Don't forget the cat," Isabelle piped in. I shot her a confused look. She smiles and I feel that jealousy you feel when you meet someone who is so beautiful it doesn't seem fair. "He gets offended if you forget about him." Maryse entered the lift and stepped aside so me and Isabelle could go in. It was only then I noticed that like the building, this lift looks old and rusty.

"Is this safe? The elevator, I mean, it looks a bit… unstable." Isabelle laughed outright until Maryse gave her a warning glare.

"It works and we're getting it renovated soon, so you'll only have to worry about it for a little while." She pulled the leaver and the lift shuddered before moving upward. "If you're sure you want to do this, you can start training tomorrow."

I looked at her surprised. I was expecting having to gain there trust, I hadn't thought that they would offer me a chance to start training tomorrow. _I can make my dad proud._

"Yes, that sounds great. Thank you."


	2. Chapter 2

The room Maryse has lent me is very pretty. The walls are a soft, olive green that goes well with the curtains that are cream with a floral pattern consisting of pink flowers. The double bed is covered in a white duvet that has delicate lace trimmings around the edge. I sit on the bed. The quilt is soft yet I can tell the mattress is quite firm. I smile as I know I'll be able to get to sleep easily in a bed so comfortable. Idly trailing my fingers over the pale green blanket folded at the foot of the bed I look up. Above the headboard is one of those canopies; a small circular one where the netting hangs only behind the headboard and as far round as the pillows. This too was decorated with petite pink flowers. It is pretty but let's be honest, useless.

I have a simple collection of white furniture; a bedside table, a wardrobe, a chest of draws and a desk that had a shelf above it that is filled with books. But all these things are kind of pointless considering I didn't bring any clothing, only a load of money. I kick off my tennis shoes and lay back on the bed letting my eyes close.

I can hear a distant rattle and voices speaking from the kitchen but it's strangely comforting. Maybe it's because I'm used to being alone. I feel all my muscles relax and I feel so calm that I could possibly be sinking into the mattress.

I must have dosed off because when I wake, Isabelle is perched on the bed staring intently at me.

"Good, you're awake." I nod and sit up. Her charcoal eyes seem to change. Instead of being a stoic, cautious even, they seem brighter with a hint of light blue. I blink confused by the sudden change. "Where are all your clothes? I _love_ clothes."

"Um," I gingerly reached up to my hair and supressed a groan; a curly, tangled mess. "I don't have anything yet, only money." A look of sympathy swept over her pretty features. I quickly added, "It's fine, I have some money I just didn't grab some clothes."

"Oh, we'll have to go shopping! Wait- so you don't have anything to train in?" I shrug and swing my legs of the bed and stand to stretch. I hear a click that feels nice but I must sound like an old lady. "Is that a tattoo?" I nodded. At the base of my spine is a black pentacle that has red roses weaving between the lines. Dad had let me get it for my fourteenth birthday. "Did-"

"Isabelle, Clary! Dinner's ready," Maryse called. Isabelle looked at me and rolled her eyes, I couldn't help but grin.

I followed Isabelle down the wide hallway, which looked more like a corridor to me, to the kitchen. The yellow light made my eyes go funny and realise that perhaps I'd slept longer than I initially thought. There was a high table in the centre of a room, a breakfast bar with ten stools around it. The kitchen was enormous so the table didn't look like it would be too crowded. Two bowls sat in the middle of the table, one containing cheese the other containing salad.

"Do you like lasagne, Clary?" Maryse asked as she grabbed a tea towel and reached into the oven.

"Yeah, I'll give you some money for groceries and rent and stuff," I replied taking a seat opposite Isabelle.

"Don't be silly. You're a Shadowhunter and we are helping you out so you can keep your money."

"Mum, where are Alec and Jace?" Isabelle asked picking up a piece of lettuce, inspecting it and then popping it into her mouth.

Maryse was placing lasagne on five plates as she replied, "They're on their way back now. They've been hunting an Iblis demon." I knew _of_ demons but I didn't particularly know them by name or characteristics.

"Iblis?"

"Yeah, you know, yellow eyes, made of black smoke and completely dumb," Isabelle explained waving a bit of cucumber around. Maryse place a plate in front of me and Isabelle before placing on where she planned to sit. The other two plates she placed back in the oven to keep warm.

We ate in silence. One thing I knew for sure; Maryse is an excellent cook. I was just about to compliment her when a smooth voice spoke.

"Well, I didn't know we had a guest. Hello, little redhead."

Okay, so I know this is starting a bit slow but I have to practice pacing my writing as well as practice describing. Please review and if you have any advice, that would be great x


	3. Chapter 3

I saw Isabelle roll her eyes before I turned in the stool to see who had spoken.

And my breath caught. He is perfect. The leather Shadowhunter gear shows off his lean but muscled body. His lips looked sensual and at the moment they were pulled up in a sexy, mocking smirk. His eyes were alert and watching my assessment of him. Those _eyes_; I'd never seen a colour like it. They are bright amber, almost gold. Blonde hair that curled at his neck finished this masterpiece.

I shook myself mentally and grabbed some of the fire that was in me. "My name is Clary, not 'little redhead'." During my admiration of this blonde god, I hadn't noticed the other guy. He looks like Isabelle but instead of grey eyes he has blue. He also seemed to have an attitude problem as he looked at me with what appeared to be disgust. He then grabbed his dinner out of the oven and a knife and fork then stormed out of the room.

"Hm, a pretty name for a pretty face," he cocked his head to the side and rested his index finger on his bottom lip. "I think my nickname for you suits you better. You seem…. fierce" his lips stretched into a grin. I noticed a small chip on his front tooth and find it a strange mixture of sexy and adorable.

"Oh shut up, Jace. Don't you ever get bored of your own voice?" Isabelle groaned, pushing her now empty plate away.

"No, as a matter of fact I don't," he focused back on me. "As you probably gathered, I'm Jace Wayland. I'm sure it's a pleasure for you to meet me." He bowed gallantly then simply straightened and sat next to me as Maryse put his dinner in front of him. "Thank you, wench."

"Jace," Maryse snapped cutting him a glare. I doubted she meant it though. There was an amused tone to her voice. She grabbed Isabelle and my own plate and headed to the washing up bowl. "Did the hunt go okay?"

Jace scoffed. "Of course it did; I was there." Isabelle sighed and stood up; informing us she was going to her room. I found myself admiring Jace again.

"What is it like?"

"What's what like?" he replied around a mouth full of food.

"Hunting," his eyebrows pulled together in a frown. "I've never been hunting. I'm here to train."

"Really?" he dragged the word out. "I'll help you. In fact, you can be my bait tonight."

"Haven't you just got in from a hunt?" I asked surprised. Jace shot me an amused grin.

"You _are_ new in the Shadowhunter world." He finished his dinner and stretched. His top rode up revealing some tanned skin. I didn't doubt he did that intentionally. "If you really want to learn, you're better off getting out on the field. As a bonus, you get to spend more time with me. I know I'm stunningly attractive and I'm sure you appreciate the view." I rose my eyebrows. "Don't give me that look, you know it's true. Now, why don't you go as Isabelle for a dress or something?"

"A dress?" I thought I'd need something more than that. "Where are we going?"

"To Pandemonium, little redhead. Go get ready."

Love it? Hate it? Let me know  x


	4. Chapter 4

Isabelle was more than happy to give me a makeover. Apparently, you had to seduce the demon to get it someone quieter.

"Well, you could just stab them on the dance floor but the mundies are easily freaked out." Isabelle explained as she brushed some silver eye shadow on my eyelid. "Pandemonium is like our regular hunting ground. The demons love it there and there's a storage cupboard that no one uses so it's great for killing the bastards." Isabelle dabbed the brush on the corner of my eye and ordered me to open them. "Perfect. You look hot."

I laughed. I highly doubted I looked 'hot'. I stood up, thankful that I knew how to walk in high heels as these ones were ridiculously high. When I commented on this, Isabelle announced her rule of 'nothing less than seven inches'. Somehow, I don't think she's just talking about shoes but I chose not to mention my opinion.

The shoes I have on are (seven inches, of course) red and what my father would call "slut shoes". Due to the fact that Isabelle is taller than me, she didn't own any dresses that would "achieve the sexiness" as she put it. So instead, she left the room and returned with a men's white shirt. As I slipped into it, I couldn't help but realise that whoever's shirt this was, they smelt good. I hope it isn't Maryse's husband. Isabelle added a simple black belt around my waist. My hair has been left curly; the red tendrils curling to my waist. To finish the look, my makeup consists of silver eye shadow, mascara and pencil eyeliner.

"Come on, Clary," Isabelle called as she walked out the bedroom door.

"Isabelle-"

"Call me Iz, Izzy or whatever." She smiled and continued walking in the direction of the kitchen with me trailing behind.

"Do you think I'm ready to be bait? I mean, I don't even know how to fight." Isabelle paused in front of a mirror and checked her lipstick. She was in leggings and had a silver, sparkly low-cut top. I noticed the stele and seraph blade stashed in a thigh sheath as well as a golden whip wrapped around her arm.

"Jace will look out for you. I will too but Jace is the one who will be waiting in the store room." Catching my slightly worried look she smiled, "Don't worry, you'll be fine. Anyway-"

"Is that my shirt?" Jace asked as he walked out the kitchen. Not angrily, just curiously. The other boy was with him- Alec I think he'd been called.

"Yes, it is." Isabelle answered leading are little group to the elevator. I hoped it would hold our weight.

"It suits you," Jace said from behind me. I felt him stroke a strand of my hair, one running down the middle of my back.

We piled into the elevator, me and Jace standing side by side and Isabelle and Alec in front of us. I noticed Jace had changed. He now wore nicely fitted jeans- not a pair of those I-should-have-bought-a-belt-but-it's-fashionable-to-show-my-boxers. He also has a black shirt that contrasts nicely with his blonde hair. The top couple of his buttons were undone, no doubt to tease the females. On top of that he has a leather jacket. Overall, he looks gorgeous.

"So…do you know anything about demons?" Jace asks as the lift shudders to a stop and we move to the Institute door.

Truth is I do know a bit. Father makes deals with them so I know what they look like and foul their manners can be. I just don't know the details like their names, what particular ones do, how to kill them, etc. But I couldn't tell them this. They might ask where I learnt what little I do know from. And I don't know what I could say so instead I turned to Jace and said; "Not really." Not a complete lie but not completely truth. Hopefully they'd just assume I know nothing and think I said what I did so I didn't sound stupid.

"You'll learn. It's in your blood," was all he said. Outside, it's bitterly cold. I can see the roofs of cars are slightly glittery from the frost. A wind is blowing, not too strong but its ice cold on my face and arms. "Here," Jace takes off his jacket and wraps it around helps me put my arms in the sleeves.

"Thank you," I murmur. It smells of leather, a really delicious aftershave and… well, Jace. He winks.

It's about a ten minute walk from the Institute to the club Pandemonium. We didn't talk much. Isabelle, Alec and Jace spoke of their positions. Alec was going to hover by the entrance. Isabelle was going to be closer to me to make sure the demon tried nothing in public and Jace, once we'd found the demon, would sneak into the storage room.

When we reached the club, our group headed straight to the bouncer. I thought this was strange at first until I saw the runes and scars on his muscled arms. He nodded to us and let us through. We gave the man Izzy's bag and Jace's jacket when he asked. Alec headed straight to a table in the corner. I didn't doubt he'd have his eyes glued to the door. Izzy took my hand and led me into the crowd of grinding bodies. I looked over my shoulder to see Jace smile at us before walking to the bar.

I recognised the song playing, a woman singing about a she wolf, and so I started moving with the crowd. Isabelle nodded to me and then moved away a little so she could still see me but wouldn't be associated with me. As I moved I made sure to pay attention to those around me. I couldn't see anything out of the ordinary so I closed my eyes and lost myself in the moment.

Arms wrapped around me and started moving with me. I knew it was Jace. I recognised his smell. I felt him rest his head on my shoulder. I didn't open my eyes; I just let the moment stretch. I forgot about training, about my father and about the demons we were meant to be looking for. One of Jace's hands rested on my hip, the other my stomach. Then he slowly turned me around so I was facing him. I opened my eyes. He was so close. I hadn't expected him to be this close. The flashing lights reflected in those amber eyes but I soon found my eyes drawn to his lips. Under my gaze, his lips parted. One hand pressed to my back, while the other cupped my face. We were so close.

Then I saw it.

It looked human. However, it didn't act human. It watched the crowd with a hungry gaze. Its eyes darting as if looking for prey.

I hated to break the moment but I looked at Jace then back to the demon. He understood me as he looked over his shoulder and then turned back to me.

"It's a demon all right. I'll see you soon." Then he was weaving through the crowd.

Now, I have to do my job.


	5. Chapter 5

_It's going to be fine,_ I tell myself as I start dancing near the demon. I give it what I hope are 'bedroom eyes' and turn my back to him hoping he has an appreciation of butts. I see Isabelle dancing nearby with some cute mundane, her eyes briefly flicker to me before she looks away again.

_Why hasn't the demon come over yet? What do I do?_ I do a little turn, grinding my hips to the beat so I'm facing it again.

Only it's not there.

I turn back to Isabelle only to be met by a chest in my way. It's disguised itself as a guy of around 20 with bright blue eyes and 'messy' blonde hair. It would have fooled me if it hadn't smelt so bad. I gave him a man-eating smile causing him to lean down.

"Hey, you want a drink?" his breath is freezing against my cheek but I can't give up now.

"Why don't we just go someplace quiet?" I ask making my voice playful. It gives me a once over and apparently like what he sees as he offers a smile and grabs my hand. It takes all my willpower not to yank my hand away from him but I just let him lead me. I note with some relief that he is indeed taking me to the storage room. When we reach the door, he glances around before pushing the door open.

The room is crowded with shelves filled with boxes. Wire is tangled and placed hazardously on the floor. It was quite dark, the only light coming from the moonlight that was shining through the window.

I thought there would be a little more pretending but as soon as the demon shut the door, he had me by the throat up against the wall. I won't lie, I panicked. Then I cursed myself. As I'm short, it was quite easy to do what I did next. I pulled my foot up a little then bought the point of my heel onto his groin. He wailed in pain and staggered back only to have a seraph blade pierce through his chest.

The blade was pulled out of its chest and it crumpled to the floor before simply vanishing. I looked up at Jace. He looked so dangerous standing there. His gold eyes flashing, the seraph blade bright in his hand. I wanted to run to him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." In a way, I was. My heart was beating fast, my breathing deep and I felt like laughing. It must be the adrenaline. Jace smirked and strolled over to me. He stopped just in front of me and put his blade in his jacket pocket.

"Nice kick, by the way."

"Thanks," the urge to pull him to me was stronger. I was struggling to control myself; I feel like an elastic band pulled too tight and about to snap.

Jace stepped closer, "are you sure you're okay?" I could only nod. Then he grabbed me.

And kissed me.

Okay, sorry if the ending seemed rushed but yeah. There you go, guys. I'm trying to update every day but I have school and stuff but I'll try my best. Please review and let me know what you think x


	6. Chapter 6

Apologies for late update, I have been busy at school and stuff. Thanks for the reviews guys! This chapter is short but I will try to start updating frequently and adding more to the chapter.

His lips are warm and soft and of course I respond. Then there's a voice in me screaming '_no! You have to lie to him. You'll get too attached, you always do! You're a Morgenstern, he'll hate you!_ I think it's that voice that gave me the strength to push him from me.

"You shouldn't have done that," I say. No emotion is in my voice and I mentally shut down as it helps me achieve a poker face. Jace looked incredulous at first before anger took its place.

"Oh, it's not like you responded or anything," he crossed his arms over his chest. "_You_ were the one on the dance floor looking all 'ooh, kiss me' and yeah, I'm used to that but don't act like you didn't want it."

"I was _not_ like that. And maybe if you should -"

The door banged open and Isabelle strutted in. "Good job, Clary" she complimented. Jace was looking at his seraph blade.

"Thanks," I murmured quietly. "Are we leaving?"

"Yeah, sometimes we stay but it's pretty boring tonight."

"I'm staying," Jace declared then he walked out of the room. I looked after him, my lips parted as I argued with myself whether I should call out to him. In the end, I let him go- and try to ignore the part of me that wanted to run after him and kiss him again. Or him kiss me. Either way, contact would be fabulous.

"Well, something crawled up his ass and died. Did you have a fight or something?" Isabelle asked, poking a bit of demon blood that was in the process of evaporating.

"Um, no," _quite the opposite really, well, I suppose you could say 'battle'. I've read in some romance novel kissing being said as 'tongues battling for dominance'. In that case, yes, we had a fight._ "Does that have a name?" I motioned to the blood with a tilt of my head. Isabelle and I watched as the blood vanished to wherever it goes.

"Ichor," Iz turned and looked at the door with a thoughtful expression. "I wonder what's up with Jace. Anyways, we can head back to the Institute and have a movie night. Alec can stay and keep an eye on the diva."


End file.
